http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/ Wed, 20 Aug 2008 05:10:11 -0000 Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:37:24 -0000 http://images.tuckfoot.multiply.com/logo http://tuckfoot.multiply.com 100 100 Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! ! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorit... http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/journal/item/7/What_happened_last_night_Son Wed, 13 Feb 2008 22:37:24 -0000 While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the man. "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. ... http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/journal/item/6/Subject_A_NONPARTISAN_JOKE_THAT_CAN_BE_ENJOYED_BY_BOTH_PARTIES Tue, 5 Feb 2008 19:04:35 -0000 From a friend on the net: √ Why did the chicken cross the road? DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is ei... http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/journal/item/5/Why_did_the_Chicken_Cross_the_Road Thu, 24 Jan 2008 13:47:10 -0000 Two people drift in a lifeboat on an uncharted sea. One says, "There! I see an island. Our best chance i to go ashore, build a shelter, and await rescue." The others says, "No, we must go farther out to sea and hope to find the shipping lanes. That is our best chance." Unable to agree, the two fight, the lifeboat capsizes, and the drown. This is the nature of humanity. Even if only two people are left in the entire universe, they will come to represent opposing factions. ---The Bene Gesserit Acolytes' Handbook "The Sandworms of Dune" http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/journal/item/4/The_Nature_of_Humanity Tue, 15 Jan 2008 20:11:13 -0000 I've known for years that Waterloo Ice House made an excellent Burger, but I've recently had a hankerin' for pancakes. Now let me explain. 1- I like butter on my pancakes. 2- I won't consume corn syrup and most all maple flavored syrups have a corn syrup base. 3- Most restaurants serve butter and corn syrup. 4- As a result I bring my own butter and real maple syrup when I go out for pancakes. I've tried McDonald's for pancakes. Tasty but small and only 3 for $1.89+tax. For years I've visited the Omelettry, Burnet and W 49th St where there offer only margarine and maple flavored corn syrup. Thus the habit of taking my own butter and RMS was born. Monday morning I was in North Austin and chanced to stop at Waterloo @ Burnet and Steck for some breakfast. Now most recently I've been eating the gingerbread pancakes at the Omelettry but finding them dry and bitter. I had planned on having one of Waterloo's wonderful overstuffed breakfast taco's (choice of 3 ingredients for $... http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/reviews/item/3 Thu, 1 Nov 2007 16:30:14 -0000 Dear John, Just wanted to say what a wonderful job y'all are doing up there in Washington. Another couple of years and the dollar will be worthless and a gallon of gas will cost twenty dollars and I'll be in high cotton driving my Prius. And may I compliment you on the way you have funded the military just enough to get them worn out but not enough to rebuild or prepare for another misadventure, like Iran. Bravo! You have us headed for third world status in another ten years. By the way, why do I need a passport to leave the country? Didn't the Nazi's have the same policy just before they started rounding up folks in concentration camp and rendering for their gold teeth and their fat for soap? Are y'all afraid I will run away with my gold teeth and unrendered fat? I guess not having Habeas Corpus will keep me from complaining loudly enough to be heard. Good going. Where are the people who swore to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution? How do you sleep ant night Sen... http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/journal/item/3/Open_rant_to_Senator_John_Cornyn_of_Texas Wed, 31 Oct 2007 04:41:43 -0000 Check this site out for a challenging 50 question test.<br>I scored a modest 430 or 86%. No mechanical genius but not a moron anyway.<br><a href=http://www.forddoctorsdts.com/quizzes/MechanicalAptitude.php>http://www.forddoctorsdts.com/quizzes/MechanicalAptitude.php</a><br>Just scroll down and hit the start http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/journal/item/2/Whats_your_Mechanical_Aptitude Sun, 28 Oct 2007 16:43:28 -0000 President Bush, I request that you reconsider the rush to war with Iran. I urge you to use every option available to defuse tensions with Iran -- diplomatic, political, and economic -- before even considering military force. Military force must be viewed as the last resort -- not the first option. War is not the answer. With a military incapable of mounting an invasion and occupation do you plan on using private armed forces to achieve you goal or will you use weapons of mass destruction to achieve your goals? Just wondering what a megalomaniac is thinking. Ask Dick for me will you and get back to me with his thoughts on the matter will you, sir. Thank you for your time Mr President. http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/journal/item/1/Is_Iran_Really_the_Objective. Sun, 28 Oct 2007 02:35:46 -0000 My Friend JimDon recently turned me onto a wonderful Blended Scotch. I've been a Scotch fancier since the day my second wife and I separated. She packed up her things and then I was alone and feeling like an alcoholic celebration. I had been reading a magazine in which was an ad for Cutty Sark featuring "Captain Courageous" one Ted Turner who had recently captured the America's Cup. I thought, hey, maybe Scotch will be the ticket. It was for me. I lived the taste and the buzz. Not long after I discovered the Miracle of Single Malt Scotch. The first single malt I drank was Knockando and to this day the best Scotch on the Rocks I have ever enjoyed was that 1969 "NoCanDo". It had a smokey, peaty character that was smooth as glass and I enjoyed many a bottle over the next three years (1981-1984) and in fact bought the last eight bottles of the 1969 vintage Knockando planning to store it away for ten or fifteen years but of course, it was all gone within the year. After that I wen... http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/reviews/item/2 Sat, 27 Oct 2007 17:15:06 -0000 <p><a href="http://www.brookstone.com//shop/product.asp?product_code=531707">Originally submitted at Brookstone</a></p><img style="margin: 0 0.5em 0 0" align="left" class="photo" src="http://images.powerreviews.com/images_products/07/37/258954_100.jpg"><p style="margin-top:0"><b>Looking good and feeling great just got a whole lot easier.</b><br> The OSIM® iGallop™ is the revolutionary exerciser that can help you shape and tone your tummy, hips, seat and thighs. The secret is in its zero-impact, tri-axial riding action. Your body automatically responds to its multidirect... </p><a class="url fn" style="display: none;" href="http://www.brookstone.com/shop/product.asp?product_code=531707">OSIM&reg; iGallop&trade; Core and Abs Exerciser</a><br clear="left"><p><strong class="summary">iLove iGallop</strong></p>By <strong>tuckfoot</strong> from <strong>Austin, TX</strong> on <strong>10/5/2007</strong><p>&nbsp;</p>5out of 5<p><strong>Pros: </strong>Targets Muscles, Easy To Use</p><p><strong>Best Uses: </strong>Weight Loss, General Fitness</p><p><strong>Describe Yourself: </strong>I hate to exercise, Rarely Workout</p><p class="description" style="margin-top:1em">I've had mine for two days and feel stronger already. I can feel core muscles tightening. I started with only a minute or so and am up to three or four minutes at a time every half hour or so. I found mine at the Brookstone Barton Creek Mall on Wednesday Oct 3rd, 2007 in Austin, TX for under $200. Under $250 w/ tax and 3 year exchange warranty and into my car at the loading dock, delivered by a delightful young lady named Savanah... http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/reviews/item/1 Fri, 5 Oct 2007 19:27:37 -0000 Photos from NASA's http://tuckfoot.multiply.com/photos/album/1/Hubbles_Eyes Thu, 20 Sep 2007 00:35:57 -0000